And A Merry Christmas To You Too!
By Emil van der Poorten -December 22, 2013
Emil van der Poorten
Being a glutton for punishment from the usual sources of racist rhetoric, I thought I’d take a short jog down memory lane to provoke them into another frenzy of bad grammar and syntax!
Since my return to Sri Lanka a few years ago, my partner and I have chosen to celebrate the festive season with a little get-together with our neighbours in the (spacious) premises that we occupy. We only have one couple and their children resident on our land now and depend for workers, both full-time and casual, on those living on the informal “colonies” which have grown out of squatter settlements which, in turn, came into existence after the collapse of the estates that the State placed under its management after one of the most inappropriately named pieces of legislation in Sri Lanka’s post-colonial history – “Land Reform.”
I have on previous occasions referred to the economic and social damage done by legislation that was driven by malice and revenge and I am not about to repeat the facts again. Those of my vintage who have observed what became of agriculturally productive land in the mid-country of Sri Lanka, in particular, can speak far more eloquently to that bit of history.
A half-century ago, as a “newly-wed” with an infant daughter, we decided to have a “Christmas Party” for the children of those who were employed by us. Given the extent of replanting and rehabilitation of the ancestral land I was working at the time, the number of children of those engaged in this work was quitesubstantial. In any event, that occasion nearly ended in a calamity when someone decided that the person chosen to be Santa Claus should wear a pair of the cricket boots of that era. These had canvas uppers, hard leather soles with metal hob-nails on them. In any event, when “Santa” entered the front door, his feet which were not usually shod with footwear of any description, took off from under him and he reflexively reached out for some source of support. This happened to be the Christmas tree which had the usual adornment of that time of yards and yards of tinsel. This would have been fine except that the electricity supply to the festive lights on the tree wasn’t perfect and had a few “leaks” that made the tinsel decorations “live!” As a result, Santa received a fairly significant jolt of electricity, let go in a hurry and landed in a heap on the polished floor. No serious damage done, but that was one of the more ill-humoured Santas of my recollection and the children collecting their presents from him were not greeted with an excess of bonhomie. Those who, disconcerted by Santa’s (awful) face mask, raised any kind of protest while collecting their girfts were given (very) short shrift by him! However, all was well that ended well with lots of food and fizzy drinks which we didn’t realize at that time constituted a dentist’s nightmare!
