Becoming Nicole

They were born identical twin boys, but one always felt he was a girl

Jonas and Nicole Maines are first-year students at the University of Maine. (Bill O'Leary/The Washington Post)

Wyatt — who later became Nicole — and Jonas Maines as babies. Scientists say that differences in biological sex are not necessarily hard-wired or absolute. (Courtesy of Maines Family)

Story by Amy Ellis Nutt-October 19, 2015

They were identical twin boys, Wyatt and Jonas Maines, adopted at birth in 1997 by middle-class, conservative parents. Healthy and happy, they were physically indistinguishable from each other, but even as infants their personalities seemed to diverge.

By the age of 2, when the boys were just learning to speak, Wyatt asked his mother, “When do I get to be a girl?” and “When will my penis fall off?” It was the beginning of a journey through questions of gender that would challenge a mother to find ways to help her child, even as the father pushed back. The father would learn the truest meaning of family only after his wife felt forced to file a lawsuit against the twins’ elementary school, and when Jonas told him, at age 9, “Face it, Dad, you have a son and a daughter.”

Becoming Nicole by Thavam Ratna